It may be 5 o’clock somewhere, but it’s 9:45 am here.

It may be 5 o’clock somewhere, but it’s 9:45 am here. That’s the time I rolled up on this beach condo.

Now before I get too deep into this, I just want to make it clear that this is not a slam on real estate, photographing properties, or the agents that hire me.

In reality, I really like this. Photographing homes is hardcore. Challenges from the moment you arrive till long after you leave. For the agents, they are only as good as their latest listing. And they are depending on me to make it look special. It’s a tough gig for them and I truly respect what they do.

Lots of pressure. I mean, I only hang at the house and with the sellers for a couple of hours then I’m gone. But the agents deal with them for weeks, maybe even months or more!

This is more like a study of human psychology. You literally see everything. Even and especially things you don’t want to see. I’m talking crazy people. Drunk people. High people. Crazy, drunk and high people too. But mostly just decent, ‘normal’ everyday people.

So, like I said, it’s 9:45 am and I arrive at the condo. It’s a high-rise, maybe 20 floors or so. It’s hot as usual. My car says 91 degrees. My body says 112. Nuclear sun, no clouds and me slinging gear.

The seller meets me. This one is “By Owner”. Not my favorite as I really like an agent being involved - sort of a buffer. But hey, it’s a paying gig. So dude meets me.

Dressed in typical Florida Summer wear. Flip flops, shorts and a drink. Apple juice with some ice? That’s what I was thinking. Looks cool and refreshing.

Then he got a bit closer. It’s not apple juice. It’s whiskey! And it’s before 10am. Dude has been drinking for a while, I can now smell it. Strong enough to almost give me a contact buzz. Punchy.

Oh, this is gonna be good! I sort of get it. I’m a stranger in their condo. Maybe they need a little something to take the edge off?

Inside the condo, I meet his wife. I think she’s been hitting the sauce too. And why not? It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

10am, I start to shoot. It’s a clean place (thankfully). Really clean and beautifully furnished. Should not be a problem. Except for the mirrors! It’s a beach condo, and in Florida those come with an excess of mirrors. Helps to make the space look larger.

Also plays hell on the camera, because. Because it’s a beast to get a shot without the camera somewhere reflected in it! So I have to get real creative. And that sometimes means digging into Photoshop to remove said camera reflections. Precious time in editing.

My goal was to photograph and get out before the sellers got really shitfaced because you never know what will happen with drunk people. 

And, yes, I’ve been on prior (and subsequent) shoots with drunken sellers (and their guests)! On some occasions, drunks can get mean. And rarely they get mean with me, your humble photographer.

I’m the kind of person who diffuses situations like this. It rarely has almost come to blows. But when it has, I always have the option of just leaving. Pack my toys and go to a different sandbox. It’s hard to expect a drunk to be rational, so being rational to one usually is just as ineffective.

See “human psychology”? This is way better than some 4 year college degree in that. You get your experience in the field, people in your face, looking over your shoulder, always watching you. Can’t put a price on that.

So if someone asks me how to get good at photography? Photograph real estate! It’s done wonders for me. I mean, I had many prior years of corporate, commercial and news video production experience, but this is a whole different animal.

And the condo? I finished the shoot, picked up some chicken nuggets for the ride home, edited and submitted the images. That was it. My guess is that it sold though I never followed up. I was too busy in the grinder. Photography is a tough business.

More to come.